Yesterday's Cringe

Once upon a time I was worth
something more
than I am today.


Once upon a time,
I was convicted of something greater
than myself.


I want to be one with that truth again
I want to feel his skin
on mine.


Once upon a time
I used to feel the world
inside my soul


we were singing in a chorus
and the harmony
was more than my spirit could bear


it lifted me above the ground
and swept me away from my morality
into something divine.


I could see the abyss of the ground
and the rivers
and the oceans
and the mountains
and the prairies
below me


and the cities were utterly laid waste
for the power of the butterflies
was renewed
and the swiftness of their wings
smote the dragons in the
beastly impurities of us


I saw it all
I saw it all on fire
I saw it all below me... hovering


and I sang.


my voice was hard to find,
for the smoke
and the depravity--


but then--


you started singing too,
and one by one the world floated to join me
above the lava ridden land
renewing itself


we were just people
just mortals
acknowledging our inability
to do anything
worthy
to do anything
transcendent


and we all know we want to be more than we are...


and my tears were heavy,
so heavy,
but the sadness
turned to utter joy
as I saw your face
lifted from the ashes


and the greatest angel of heaven
took you by the hand
and brought you past me
to the purity
the whiteness
the place we all dream of


and I knew,
I knew in my most eager and lonely core
that I would soon join you
but first
I must witness my life on fire
for I had cast it to the refuse pile


and it was a fire worthy of the greatest glory.